Sleep Deprived Conversations

If you’ve ever lived with a newborn, or cared for one around the clock, you would understand how needy he or she can be. You can imagine how this month has been at our house with a one month old, a four-year-old and a dog who is rather attention deprived.

We’re slowly learning our baby’s cues. The most difficult thing so far is that she doesn’t like being put down. She’ll sleep happily when held, but when I put her down, her eyes pop open and I receive a death glare. As we transition, we have had some interesting conversations and actions around our place. Here’s a glimpse of our craziness as we adjust to having a newborn again:

Me: I’m going to the bathroom, Daddy will be right back.
4yo: Daddy?
Me: Ya…I mean I’ll be right back. Someone will come back.

Hubs: The bed have gone to sleep.
4yo: The bed?
Me: I think Daddy means the fish.
Hubs: Ya, the fish.

Hubs: I’ll use the pushy thing.
Me: You mean the stroller?

My many attempts reading a Japanese menu:

Doctor: Is it your back or your abdomen that’s bothering you?
Me: My front.
(Apparently abdomen has too many syllables for my brain.)

Me: I don’t know why you bought yourself vitamin C and not cold medicine.
Hubs: I’ll just have some of your codeine.
Me: I don’t have codeine.
(And if I did, I don’t think I’d be willing to share my narcotics.)

Me: Go wash your pho. I mean go wash hands so you can eat pho.

4yo: Her eyes are open! (The baby’s)
Me: Oh, are she?

Me: Can you please get me a diaper from the change table?
4yo: OK!
Me: Thanks, Mom.
(Yup, I just called my 4yo, Mom.)

4yo: Mom, why are you in good morning clothes?
Me: Because I have to go to an appointment.
(Yes, it has been THAT long since I’ve changed out of pajamas.)

After washing his hands, hubby just up and left the bathroom, tap running and all.

I’ve attempted to put the milk in the pantry.

I tried to turn off the car before putting it in park.

I had my hands full of baby at 2:00am ready to pass her off to the hubby. He grabbed a pair of dirty socks off the floor and tried to hand them to me. Why? Just why?!

We’ve got somewhat of a routine being established. The fish get fed when we remember. Sometimes, the dog has food, sometimes he has to remind us to feed him. The four-year-old actually asked for a bath. Has it been that long since we’ve bathed her? I have no idea what day it is. If you try and have a conversation with me, please be prepared to tell me something multiple times before I comprehend our discussion. And if you’re interested in holding the baby so I can actually lie down and sleep, I’ll gladly pass her to you, just don’t offer me dirty socks in return.

I post to Facebook nearly everyday and would love to connect with you there.