I mentioned a few months ago that I was offered the opportunity to publish my memoir. Well, after much prayer and research, I’m going for it. The publishing agreement has been signed, sealed and delivered. Usually, the publishing timeline is about three to four months, but I’ve asked to take this project really slow. It is a unique emotional space to be in, being pregnant and working on the story of our miscarriages. It’s holding the grief and memory of my children in heaven while trying to trust that my body will carry this baby to term and have a safe delivery into the world.
Even though I share about our losses quite often here, it’s not an easy task. What you may not know is that after I hit publish, I often run away from my computer and my phone so I don’t see any notifications pop up of who has read it or who has commented. While all I have received is support, (thank you), it’s still scary to share life, especially a part of life that cuts my heart so deeply.
This is the first manuscript that I’ve ever written and didn’t think I’d be sharing it so soon, but there’s been a lot of conviction in my heart to get this piece of writing into the hands of others. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. I’m used to baring my soul through dance, where I can hide behind the technicality of movement and the beats of popular music. WIth this memoir there are no lights, no costume, no stage and nothing to hide behind, which is the terrifying part!
The journey of publishing my first book will take me into 2016 with the goal of launching the book by June. It’s the story of how expanding a family doesn’t always go as planned, the pain of loss, the challenge of being a mother and a wife through grief and the battle with faith through it all. I’m looking forward to sharing more with you as the project progresses and will post updates to Facebook.